With a new year looming, it’s that time of year when we consider making resolutions or changes. I ask though – what good are those resolutions if they aren’t grounded in reality.
Instead of making empty promises to yourself, I suggest taking some time to think about who you want to be next year? If you were to sit down and write a description of yourself today does that describe who you want to be next year?
Have some fun with this–one way to go about it is to write an introduction for yourself. I did it recently with a business-focused coaching group and it was pretty fun!
By introducing yourself honestly, you might find some indicators of where a closer look is needed – is there a difference in the intro for who you are now and the you of 2018?
Big caveat to this exercise – The best time to set these goals and intentions or vision statements is when you are on a high, when you are full or energy and feel unstoppable. If you’re exhausted, you’re not in alignment with your mind and your spirit so your actions don’t line up. So don’t do any kind of decision or resolution-making if you find yourself ending this year, dragging your feet across the finish line.
When January hits, we’ll be inundated with pressure to make resolutions. If you’re going to go and take on a 30 day challenge or bootcamp for _____, first ask yourself “Why?”. Who do you want to be? Why are you doing these things beyond the superficial goals of losing weight or getting better at x.
Asking yourself this question is about cultivating your intuition and your gut instinct to find out the underlying purpose and intention motivating this interest. If you’re in business ask yourself what is the biggest problem you solve and who do you solve it for?
Start asking why and how you got to where you are – be reflective first.
If you’re feeling exhausted, what happened over the last year or six months that has brought you where you feel completely done? If you’re an overachiever or workaholic or always find yourself saying “yes” then look at what you’re doing when you aren’t working. Who are you being? Why are you being of service?
Exhaustion is one of many perspectives. Think of another time when you felt great and things went well and know these other perspectives can also exist…how can you get from being exhausted back to a different perspective? Sometimes it helps to reflect on when you feel happy or life feels effortless–like you’re in “the zone”.
When I hit the wall–and believe me, I do–I ask myself what I want out of my life, what fulfills and sustains me. I want my clients to feel like they are unstoppable, like they can do anything.
If you’re feeling stuck, try being introspective, curious and willing to explore the bigger why questions and instead of the what? Does it align with your values or belief system (read what’s important to you at the heart of who you are)? Connecting with your values will bring awareness to what’s catapulting our behaviours and actions.
If you’re in the right place to do some exploring, here are some suggestions:
Relationships: Learn about the five languages of love. You may find insights as to why you do some of the things you do and how you communicate.
Business/Career: There are all sorts of business resources, but one of my absolute favourites is Values Shift by John Izzo and Pam Withers. It contains great business examples about how making values integral to the bottom line completely changes a company culture and success and focuses on employee retention.
One of my favourite quotes from this book is: “you have to wake up in the morning wanting to create a place where people love to work, and you have to care about that as much as you care about all of the other things a leader must focus on”.
This rings true whether you have staff or you’re a soloprenuer. In fact, I’d say especially when you are your business, because you are the business and the culture of the experience.
If nothing else – try reflecting on just one bigger question: “How am I making life better?”. The life of your family, community, co-workers, etc. Just get up in the morning and be grateful you are here and then ask how you can make life better–from the inside out.
Cheers to a great holiday and the start of a new year!