Some people entertain the idea of running 21 kilometres in one session.
A friend signed up to run a half-marathon this past weekend and confided to me last week that she really didn’t want to participate.
She is a runner and loves to run but as this particular event loomed, she regretted the decision.
Of course, she would. The half-marathon was not her goal. She had completed one half-marathon already and wasn’t interested in doing another.
It was her friend’s goal and she signed up at the urging of her friend.
What is your motivation?
My friend’s goal was externally motivated, which meant she just wasn’t feeling it.
She was at risk of not enjoying the race, going into it grumbly, resenting the moment and maybe even putting herself at risk of injury.
If she pretended to have a good time, she would be stepping into Imposter Syndrome and using too much energy to support that façade.
I challenged her to change her energy around the event.
“Can you do this to support your friend,” I asked. “Can you link that back to the core values you have around running to revel in the moment?”
Sometimes we struggle with our goals. That happens when we:
- Don’t want to push through the tough steps
- Our desire to reach the goal changes
- We realize it isn’t the right goal after all
We all know someone who’s set a personal goal to lose weight. Is it because summer vacations and beach days loom in the near future? Or do they do it to transform into a healthier and fitter version of themselves? We can be externally influenced by advertising, magazine cover stories, and social media; we may start to believe being smaller and lighter will lead to a ‘happier’ life.
When we don’t measure up to other people’s standards, we do everything we can to lose weight in hopes of being more like them. It may excite us or inspire us in the moment, but it usually leads us to a comparison state of mind.
Then we feel like we failed.
This happens in sales a lot. Sales people have to set targets for cold calls, warm referrals, networking leads and so on. I have a client who confuses the concept of “targets” with “goals.” He feels he should hit 10 cold calls a day but that really isn’t a goal he wants to attain. He doesn’t enjoy cold calls and he never feels successful at them.
Let’s be honest. Some of us aren’t cut out for cold calls. We may be better at warm referrals or social networking.
If we set a “goal” to hit 10 cold calls but that isn’t what we really want to do, we may hit that target but we’re never going to be effective at the task.
It isn’t impossible for people to make cold calls or lose weight. But if you’re fighting yourself and struggling through every day to do that task, you’ll push yourself into imposter syndrome and burnout, just like my running friend.
Check in with your motivational value system
I have my own goals. I’m taking CTI training to attain my international coaching designation.
I don’t like school.
Ultimately, I’m doing this so I can continue to be of great service to my clients. It’s imperative the people in my world continue to improve and expand their skill sets, which means I must stay market current and relevant.
This means I invest the money, the time, the energy and the resources to travel to Vancouver every weekend for the next five months for intensive CTI training. Then I spend the next seven months working online with peers, documenting hundreds of coaching hours and be involved in a supervision process, ending with final exams.
These aren’t pieces I enjoy but as long as I keep my eye on the prize, I can find purpose in what I have to do to get there.
It’s crucial to check in with your motivational value system. When you set a goal, you need to figure out:
- Why you’ve set it
- What it’s going to give you
- How it aligns with your core values
I’ve decided CTI training is a goal I want to accomplish. It aligns with my values—to be a beneficial asset to my clients and to support my lifelong learning.
When I get the studying, travel and time away from George (yes, I miss him when I travel) completed, I can share what I’ve learned with my clients and help them thrive. I get the added benefit of applying what I’ve learned to insights for me, too!
Full steam ahead toward your goal
Every goal we set should help us grow.
Each one should expand our mindset and beliefs and move us a step closer to our potential.
Each one may even scare us a bit.
And that’s OK.
We have to be truly invested in our goals, whether they’re personal or professional.
Ask yourself why you chose a half-marathon. Is it to see how far you can run, or is it because someone else needs you for the support and company?
Find out if making 10 cold calls will encourage professional growth, or is there another sales method where you excel and would achieve better results?
Dig deep and find the real cause of your desire to shed a few pounds or inches from your body. Are you doing it to run with the crowd or because you want to be fitter and healthier?
When you gain the clarity of why you set that goal, you can continuously anchor yourself back to the intention and feel good about it.
Go ahead and achieve greatness while supporting your friends or contributing to corporate targets.
Feel free to do what you need to do to feel good about being yourself.
Just make sure every goal you set starts from right inside your soul.
It will make the whole process a lot easier and less stressful. Plus, this is your life, and your happiness is on the line.
I’m Janice Otremba, a professional speaker, facilitator and coach who specializes in stress management, health and wellness, personal growth and life balance. Let’s kick your butt into gear with simple, sound advice for beating burnout and powering up your happy. Book a free 15-minute consultation call with me to get started!