Life really is all about the polarization of opposites. Hundreds of great minds will tell you we can’t experience one without the other. If you only ever have experience with one side of something, you don’t have a point of comparison or the ability to gain perspective.
I’m a polarity therapist. I believe there’s a positive, neutral and negative side to everything. Any atom you look at has these components in the energy field around it, and the blend of all three is required to create momentum and energy. Any shift can cause an imbalance and set off a chain reaction–for either good or bad.
Often when we are in business or isolated in our role, we consistently look for the good and get frustrated with the bad. I think sometimes we need to sit in the muck and mire and be with the negative energy and the frustration in order to get a creative jolt. Until we have those experiences, it’s hard to gauge when things are going really well.
If we’re sitting in fear and frustration, we aren’t likely to attract excitement and fun. We’re scared and bitchy and tired…and that’s what we attract.
This temporary instability helps us to gain clarity and stretch our comfort zone.
You don’t think about brushing your teeth – it’s a neutral activity. It’s not good or bad, it’s habitual. The next zone is where you want to be, and when becomes the new normal, your comfort zone has expanded.
The space past your habit and comfort zone is unfamiliar and typically causes us to feel panic. It’s the place where we have overloaded our system and we feel out of control.I think of skydiving as a good thing — a good stressor, but even so, I am still overloading my nervous system, can feel the panic/exhilaration of leaving the plane and all of it still pushes me to learn. The more I stretch, the more often I do it, the more the panic transforms to excitement.
Personally, I do my best learning when I’m frustrated. It’s the “holy shit, what the fuck am I doing?” zone. It causes me to think about how to stop the direction I’m headed and do something different. I need to stop and go into neutral, waiting until I get a new piece of information–paying attention to what evokes a reaction.
When we can play in those places we grow our comfort zone. These experiences are critical to learning where the boundaries are and knowing when to push and when to back off and be patient.
I’m not suggesting kicking back and waiting for the universe to come to us. We have to take the right steps and put in the work, but when we notice we’re pushing too hard and are heading into a negative space, we need to come back to centre to maintain polarity–our balance. We get attached to wanting things a certain way and then push to make those happen instead of learning to co-create with the universe, with what is available to us.
When I’m banging my head against the wall, and hear myself sighing, and feeling snarky and annoyed with everything, I’m there–in my negative space. I used be head down ass up, tackle the next task, get’er done no matter what, push though. Now, I’m learning that instead of asking “what’s next?”, or “how can I fix this?” the right question is–”who” “who do I need to connect with? Who can help?”. Learning how to get out of my own way to get back to neutral, creating space and reigniting my creativity.
This intuition-driven action means taking ourselves out of the doing mode and sitting in the space of being. For example, when I realize I’m unproductively staring blankly at my screen, I get up and go for a 15-minute walk. I shift into neutral, on purpose. By being present, focusing on the sounds, the view and feeling my feet on the ground, I remind myself that whatever I’m frustrated with is just one part of the whole. It’s about getting above “it” and seeing a bigger picture instead of being stubborn and digging in deeper, pushing to get things done. From this perspective, even if I if I’m not inspired with a solution, I’m more at peace and am far more productive when I return to work.
Let yourself explore what will work for you. Me, I’m a talker (shocked, I know!). I process things out loud so I’ve also started calling people to bounce things off of them. Often there’s a moment of connection moves me. I really believe we build momentum when we’re aligned with our own values and are able to move into our own space, whatever that looks like.
Listening and moving with my intuition–then being patient opens the gateway for a quantum leap–allowing me to bypass being stuck.
Next time you find yourself frustrated and stuck, shift into neutral and pause. Find a way to move outside of the isolation of your own mind (or office). When you do this, take a moment to be grateful to yourself for trying a different approach and for those you can call when you’re stuck in the muck.