You know, those days when being assimilated and part of the collective hive mind would be a relief. The days when we’re just too tired to make another decision. Let me be a cog in the wheel. Anonymous. All my needs looked after.
I’m not fooling myself, I know after a couple of weeks I’d be looking for allies to help escape…but, it’d be nice to feel like that was possible once in a while.
How do you know when it’s time to pull back and coast versus pushing to break through?
As a teen and into my early 30’s I lived as if I was invincible and never thought twice about my decisions. Looking back now, I feel lucky to be here as intact. Adult wisdom tells me I’m, in fact, not invincible. Nor can I achieve what I want alone.
As a confirmed high achiever (read: unyielding expectations), striver, driver, entrepreneur who loves to lead, reinvent the widget, never say never, and can’t is an excuse for won’t person, I used to always err on the side of breaking through. There was always just a few more minutes, days, projects, clients, meetings, emails, phone calls, texts, episode of a TV show (note: watching movies to the end, regardless of quality, IS a must!), push ups, etc., without ever reaching the ultimate peak of ‘everything being done’ and breaking down instead of breaking through.
True to my spirit, breaking down once wasn’t enough–I did it twice. Add in a car accident that left me with all sorts of complications for several years, I finally heard the message to pay attention and BE present, loud and clear. I GOT IT! But now what? How?
Stress and how we experience it–mental, emotional, physical or spiritual–is an opportunity to listen to what is going right (eustress/positive) or going wrong (distress/negative) in our life.
Where are we out of alignment with our values? How are we creating joy and connection in our day–our lives? Are we breaking down or breaking through? Where do we need to take a break, a breath, ask for help? What can be paused to give space to gain clarity instead of pushing through? How do I get back to BEing congruent, content, in tact and on track?
In exploring our stress, we need to BE curious, BE bold, BE courageous and BE committed.
Start with your beliefs. You will naturally find the evidence to support or negate them based on your current experience:
- We/I create our/my reality – my experience of life
- Our/my body is an energy field made up of trillions of cells
- The universe provides an infinite supply of energy, we/I can co-create with it
- Our/my intuition is always guiding us/me to the best and highest version of ourselves
- Right or wrong are constructs and it depends on who’s lens we are looking through (Most days I believe this. Some days it’s too hard not to judge)
ASK yourself, your higher power, God, Buddha, Jehovah, the universe to co-create with you.
ASK to be shown what needs to change. Based on my previous experience, I now ask for it to be shown as gently as possible. Before the major car accident, there was a smaller one. Both times I was hit from behind. The 2nd one I saw coming and couldn’t react, but it stopped me in my tracks literally and for the next two years, I learned A LOT about myself and my beliefs.
ASK to be lead. To be shown your path. Here’s where your intuition comes into play. Allow time to pause, breath and gain clarity on the next step. Keep checking in with yourself and trust you know what you need and that what you need is available and will be provided. Recently I wrote a blog about consciously choosing to become disciplined. While I don’t know where the path leads, I absolutely (intuitively) know discipline has a major role in my journey.
ASK to be in harmony with yourself. The ebb and flow between BEing and DOing. We need both. Often, I hear people asking for “balance” as an end state. I don’t believe true “balance” can be achieved for life is fluid, requiring constant adjustment. We can achieve a state of harmony even when we are going full throttle for several weeks or months. By building in recovery and rejuvenation time, we can not only maintain and sustain our personal equilibrium, we can thrive.
ASK for inspiration. When we start from inspired energy, it provides us with momentum and propels us forward.
Finally, LIVE your life from a place of gratitude. Gratitude for all that you have, all you experience and all that is yet to come. This is not a mantra of platitudes. What I’m referring to is a deep connection to purpose, on purpose.
For me, living from a place of gratitude is a practice. Some days I shed tears of joy and experience gratitude in every fibre of my being. Other days I feel like just making shit up because I said I would “practice”. It’s like knowing I’m going to the gym and yet I still argue with myself as I get up, brush my teeth, get dressed, grab my bag, drive into town and begin the warm-up. YEESH! What a lot of energy arguing about something that I have chosen to do.
It’s in these types of experience, I continue to learn where my ego self has a tight grip and firm ideas on how it wants to run my life. What I know is, through discipline that grip is loosening. So, while I may not want to live as a BORG full-time: Dear ego self… resistance is futile.